Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story ★★★★★ Charing Cross Theatre | Nov 21, 2025 - Jan 11, 2026


This year’s big and gloriously gay panto from the “He’s Behind You!” gang has burst into the Charing Cross Theatre, and it has arrived like it owns the place. Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story brings back several familiar faces, including the incomparable Matthew Baldwin, who now plays the mother of two gay children living at a petrol station in the Scottish Highlands. Baldwin is every bit as majestic as you imagine a woman in a fluorescent tabard can be. Laura Anna-Mead playing Bonnie, the frequently ignored lesbian daughter, bounces through the show with a delightful energy, while Matt Kennedy completely charms as Bertie, the titular beauty. As his beastly counterpart Keanu Adolphus Johnson is ferociously fabulous. Chris Lane earns his boos and hisses as Cornelius, the villainous brother whose moral compass has a limp arrow, while Dani Mirels deserves her cheers as the blue-haired enchantress who finds love. However, again this year, it is Baldwin who storms the stage. With a single raised eyebrow or a wig that seems to be plotting its own escape, he reduces the crowd to helpless laughter. His costume changes occur at speed which makes one suspect he has struck a deal with whichever supernatural entities handle backstage quick changes. Robert Draper’s costumes deserve their own curtain call, especially the teapot dress which is a hilarious masterpiece of design. Jon Bradfield and Martin Hooper have written a very funny show filled with delightfully daft song parodies. The production numbers gleefully poke fun at the Disney classic as well as other theatrical giants, including an iconic moment from The Phantom of the Opera. The Village People parody set on an oil rig still has us smiling. Topical jokes and double entendres arrive so quickly that the audience has no choice but to surrender to the chaos. If you are easily offended, this show will give you multiple opportunities to practice being upset. Every LGBTQ-plus stereotype is dusted off and flung onto the stage with gusto. Obscenity makes cheerful appearances, and there are some rather questionable drug taking jokes. The panto traditions are all present and correct. Those in the first few rows should be prepared to be showered with water, confetti, sweets and the occasional airborne scone. Andrew Beckett directs this riotous banquet of a show with perfect confidence, and he creates a production that is an ideal remedy for the winter doldrums. Beauty and the Beast: A Horny Love Story is another triumphant laugh-fest from the “He’s Behind You!” team.

Rated: ★★★★★

Reviewed by J.C.
Photo by Steve Gregson

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