Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon ★★ Garrick Theatre | Mar 17 - Apr 28, 2024


Eileen is a teenager whose sister has died as a result of anorexia. Her parents divorce and acquire new partners, and Eileen finds herself in a new family composed of her father, his girlfriend and the girlfriend's young daughter. Added to all this stress and upheaval, under the influence of a new friend, Eileen has her first traumatic and exploitative sexual experience. Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon is a whirlpool of teenage guilt, anger and bitter humour. The piece is a monologue delivered by Charithra Chandran while other characters appear on video. The problem is that while Eileen may listen to Britney Spears, it is hard to recognise her as a teenager. This is an adolescent who uses words like "schadenfreude" and manages to produce the well-honed anecdotes and pointed comparisons that abound here. Writer, Rosie Day, states that she wrote this piece to give voice to teenage girls and in response to the statistic that 1 in 4 of them were self-harming. While these are important concerns, the present work has a both a generic and didactic quality that never really creates an authentic individual voice. Eileen's language is highly composed and her pithy observations seem overly curated. Chandran puts in an effective performance as Eileen. Her dark humour draws a lot of laughs, and it is easy to sympathise with her pain and confusion, but it frequently seems as if the events she experiences are simply a catalogue of trauma. The ironic use of the collecting of scouting badges and the voice-over of the scout leader, Susan, also didn't work for us. It is difficult to imagine a teenager with Eileen's level of adolescent sophistication and cynicism taking that regime at all seriously. On the other hand, the set and video design for the production were excellent and the use of a video cast was extremely effective. Instructions for a Teenage Armageddon deals with some important issues, but in the end it seems to sacrifice authenticity for theatricality.

Rated: ★★

Reviewed by J.C.
Photo by Danny Kaan

Want to save on tickets? See our Tips page.

When, Where, Getting there:
Map & Location: 2 Charing Cross Rd, London WC2H 0HH, UK

Most Popular

King of Pangea ★★ King's Head Theatre | Jun 7 - Jul 6, 2025

Image
When Sam Crow's mother is ill, she is constantly positive. She is always looking forward to things being better. It is an optimism that the young Sam adopts, but when his mother dies, it leaves him uncertain about how to adjust to that situation. Then, he remembers the tale his mother used to tell him about the island of Pangea, a wonderful mythical place; he thinks about that land and wonders if the means of sorting out his complex emotions about her loss might be found there. King of Pangea is a slight fable about loss and reconciliation to the reality of death, but it never really works. The rather forced metaphor about finding the final piece of the puzzle and the journey to the fabled land all fall rather flat. A major issue is that this doesn't seem like a fully thought-out fantasy place, and the whole sequence about the magic coins fails to resonate. Luring an audience into an imaginative construct is never an easy task, and in this case, Pangea simply doesn't engag...
Full Details »

St. Martin in-the-fields: Lunchtime Concerts ★★★★ FREE

Image
Maybe the best musical value in London. The lunchtime concerts at St. Martin's are always a wonderful way to escape the hustle and bustle that is London and the sensory overload that is Trafalgar Square. This is a beautiful setting with great acoustics, and a church pew hard enough to make sure you don't nod off. Reviewed by J.C.  Our score:    ☆☆☆☆  WHEN, WHERE, GETTING THERE: Mon & Fri: 1 pm - 1:45 pm ( occasionally Tues & Thurs)  St. Martin in-the-fields, Trafalgar Square Nearest tube: Charing Cross https://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/whats-on
Full Details »

Our Cosmic Dust ★★★ Park Theatre | Jun 2 - Jul 5, 2025

Image
This gentle fable about a child who is mourning the loss of his father won three prizes at Japan's Yomiuri Theatre Awards in 2024. For that original production, Michinari Ozawa not only wrote, directed and did the set design, but he also starred in the show. It is quite an extraordinary achievement. Our Cosmic Dust tells the story of a young boy, Shotaro, who is equally precocious. When he questions his mother as to what has happened to his late father, she says he has become a star. This causes Shotaro to withdraw and become silent, as he ponders the meaning of her explanation. He then sets out on a quest which not only interrogates the notion of an afterlife, but also questions the very place of humanity in the universe. These metaphysical and cosmological themes are beautifully expounded in the story, with Shotaro being represented by a puppet operated against a stunning set which makes use of some delightful LED display imagery. Indeed, this is a show that has an extraordinary...
Full Details »

Giffords Circus: Laguna Bay ★★★★ Chiswick House & Gardens | June 5 - 22, 2025

Image
One of our favourite signs of summer is the return of Giffords Circus to Chiswick House & Gardens. This year marks the troupe's 25th anniversary, and to celebrate they have created "Laguna Bay." This is a show inspired by America in the 1950s. It is a nostalgic flashback to what might now seem a simpler and more innocent time, full of sun, surf and rock 'n' roll. All the crowd favourites are back including the ubiquitous Tweedy, the clown who has been with the show for over twenty years. This year he is struggling with deck chairs and ladders as he also laughably inserts himself into almost all of the other acts. He pops up in Maximiliano's magic sequence in which he is made to neatly disappear. He bedevils Mikey Fletcher, the talented singing emcee of the show, and he creates ice cream havoc with The Rivelinos, Daniel Santos Silva and Jose Luis Santos Oliveira. At the circus, our personal favourites are always the acrobats and aerialists and the Ethio-Sal...
Full Details »

Stereophonic ★★★★ Duke of York's Theatre | May 24 - Oct 11, 2025

Image
The show that was nominated for more Tony awards than any other has now arrived in London! Nominated for thirteen awards and winning five, this musical set in 1976-1977, is a deep look at a rock band's creation of their latest album. It is a fascinating insight into the music industry and into the collaborative creative process. Five members of a band, plus two engineers, struggle to produce a new album, and as they do so, the individual personalities and relationships that exist disintegrate and are reconstructed. In fact, the process of artistic invention, and re-invention, that results in the album mirrors what the band members themselves go through. This unnamed British-American rock band is composed of the driven, perfectionist Peter, his insecure vocalist, songwriter partner, Diana, the drug-addled bass player, Reg, his long-suffering spouse the keyboardist, Holly, and the apparent adult in the room, the band's drummer, Simon. This quintet is supported by two goofy, but o...
Full Details »

The Comedy About Spies ★★★★★ Noël Coward Theatre | Until September 5, 2025

Image
At the height of the Cold War, there was no business like the spy business, and this thoroughly delightful comedy is a brilliant send-up of our enduring fascination with James Bond and his counterparts. The plot, such as it is, revolves around trying to thwart a double agent who is intending to deliver plans for a secret doomsday weapon to the Soviets. But, there's really not much need to worry about that. This spoof about spooks is a wonderfully wacky farce with agents from the CIA, the KGB and MI6 all running around a hotel where an earnest young baker is planning a proposal to his girlfriend and a hapless actor is preparing to audition for the part that Sean Connery made his own. The silliness is non-stop, and the gags come thick and fast. The puns are totally outrageous, and the cast's physical comedy is superlative. While all of the performances were outstanding, our particular favourites were Chris Leask as the back-story obsessed Sergei Ivanov, and Henry Shields as the t...
Full Details »

Intimate Apparel ★★★★★ Donmar Warehouse | Jun 20 - Aug 9, 2025

Image
Lynn Nottage's play follows the fortunes of a young black seamstress in 1905 New York. Esther makes undergarments for the wealthy, and the central metaphor of the play is that just as her corsets control and distort women's figures to meet the dictates of fashion, all of the characters in the story find their lives defined and limited by race, gender, class and religion. From the wealthy Mrs Van Buren who must play her part in society while privately enduring a loveless marriage, to the cloth merchant, Mr Marks, whose religion does not allow him to be touched by a woman who is not in his family and which would never sanction a relationship with a black woman, everyone in Esther's world is trapped. However, it is through love and marriage that Esther hopes she will find freedom and escape from the restrictions of her situation. Although Esther's friends, the landlady Mrs Dickson and the prostitute, Mayme, counsel a life based on compromise, Esther hopes that her romantic...
Full Details »

This Is My Family ★★★★ Southwark Playhouse, Elephant | May 23 - Jul 12, 2025

Image
The title is simple and straightforward, and that says it all about this musical in which young Nicky recounts the story of her family. Her sixteen-year-old brother Matt is a Goth who is in love for the first time. Her grandmother May is starting to lose her memory. Father Steve is going through a middle-age crisis and is trying to recapture his youth while facing the prospects of a new job. Aunt Sian has yet another new man in her life, and Yvonne, Nicky's under-appreciated and overwhelmed mother, is desperately trying to hold both herself and the family together. There is nothing particularly new here, and the characters are all fairly well-known to us. But sometimes, it is the very predictability of the people and the familiarity of the plot that provides what we are looking for. The romcom's plot is trite, and we know the adventure film is going to end with the triumph of good over evil, but if done well, they can be very satisfying. This Is My Family has a story that echo...
Full Details »

Head First Acrobats – GODZ ★★★ Sadler's Wells Peacock Theatre | June 11 - 14, 2025

Image
Could this be a new genre? Comedic, acrobatic burlesque? GODZ , which is presented by Apollo, Dionysos, Cupid and Hercules, delivers some inane comedy, some impressive acrobatics and some inoffensive nudity. It is all good fun, even if it doesn't make much sense. Why the four Greek gods? Who knows? With a meagre narrative and minimal characterisation, that is never quite clear, and it probably doesn't matter. On the plot side of things however, we thought the distinction between the Greek Hades and the Christian Hell which is amusingly introduced could have been exploited for a lot more humour. The heart of the show is really the acrobatics, and what the four performers do with chairs, aerial straps and a ladder is quite breathtaking. They had the audience on the edge of their seats with their wonderful shenanigans. However, the point of the sequence with the whip and candles was simply unclear, and the yo-yoing bit which demonstrates some awesome prowess left us briefly wonder...
Full Details »

Edward Burra - Ithell Colquhoun ★★★★ Tate Britain | Jun 13 - Oct 19, 2025

Image
Both these exhibitions provide fascinating retrospectives on the work of two roughly contemporary artists who have often been under-appreciated. Edward Burra was born in 1905 and died in 1976, while Ithell Colquhoun was born in 1906 and died in 1988. Both were influenced by the surrealist movement, but while Colquhoun's work is replete with symbolism reflecting her occult and spiritual interests, Burra's oeuvre is more grounded in time and place. From his early works which were depictions of the life of the demimonde in the cafés and cabarets of France, through his celebration of America's Harlem Renaissance, to the artist's final works which suggest his despair regarding the industrial despoilment of the English countryside, there is a detached, sardonic side to Burra's work that stands in contrast to Colquhoun's spiritual earnestness. Although the Spanish Civil War and World War II profoundly affected Burra and his output, bringing a dark, almost cynical, tone...
Full Details »

The City Life Magazine | Reviews & Ratings