The Nutcracker – A Very Adult Pantomime! ★★★ The Turbine Theatre | Nov 30 - Dec 23, 2023


Consumer warning! This show contains nuts. Showgoers should also realise that they may never see Tchaikovsky's ballet in the same light again. Carlie, the current incarnation of Clara, is going to have quite a holiday season. She has just broken up with her brutish boyfriend, Jack. Her father has died in a curious accident. Her mother is seriously stoned, and her brother is obsessed with the sex doll he's been given for Christmas. Things are looking neither very merry nor very bright for Carlie. Then, a creepy uncle gives her a nutcracker which magically comes to life and takes testicular revenge on the Andrew-Tate-admiring boyfriend. Joshua Coley has created a ribald and riotous riff on the usual somewhat saccharine plot of The Nutcracker that creates hoots of laughter. He also commands the stage whenever he appears. He's terrific both as Carlie's dysfunctional, pill popping parent and as the drug dealing Snow Queen. We also thoroughly enjoyed Theo Walker's precious Sugar Plum Fairy and rigidly romantic Nutcracker. Holly Ashman as the long suffering Carlie and Grace Whyte in numerous roles, including the creatively castrated Jack, both greatly contributed to all the absurdity. If you're not allergic to raunchy humour and inspired silliness, then put this panto on your Christmas list.

Rated: ★★★

Reviewed by J.C.
Photo by Danny Kaan

Want to save on tickets? See our Tips page.

When, Where, Getting there:
Map & Location: Arches Ln, Nine Elms, London SW11 8AB, UK

Most Popular

King of Pangea ★★ King's Head Theatre | Jun 7 - Jul 6, 2025

Image
When Sam Crow's mother is ill, she is constantly positive. She is always looking forward to things being better. It is an optimism that the young Sam adopts, but when his mother dies, it leaves him uncertain about how to adjust to that situation. Then, he remembers the tale his mother used to tell him about the island of Pangea, a wonderful mythical place; he thinks about that land and wonders if the means of sorting out his complex emotions about her loss might be found there. King of Pangea is a slight fable about loss and reconciliation to the reality of death, but it never really works. The rather forced metaphor about finding the final piece of the puzzle and the journey to the fabled land all fall rather flat. A major issue is that this doesn't seem like a fully thought-out fantasy place, and the whole sequence about the magic coins fails to resonate. Luring an audience into an imaginative construct is never an easy task, and in this case, Pangea simply doesn't engag...
Full Details »

St. Martin in-the-fields: Lunchtime Concerts ★★★★ FREE

Image
Maybe the best musical value in London. The lunchtime concerts at St. Martin's are always a wonderful way to escape the hustle and bustle that is London and the sensory overload that is Trafalgar Square. This is a beautiful setting with great acoustics, and a church pew hard enough to make sure you don't nod off. Reviewed by J.C.  Our score:    ☆☆☆☆  WHEN, WHERE, GETTING THERE: Mon & Fri: 1 pm - 1:45 pm ( occasionally Tues & Thurs)  St. Martin in-the-fields, Trafalgar Square Nearest tube: Charing Cross https://www.stmartin-in-the-fields.org/whats-on
Full Details »

Intimate Apparel ★★★★★ Donmar Warehouse | Jun 20 - Aug 9, 2025

Image
Lynn Nottage's play follows the fortunes of a young black seamstress in 1905 New York. Esther makes undergarments for the wealthy, and the central metaphor of the play is that just as her corsets control and distort women's figures to meet the dictates of fashion, all of the characters in the story find their lives defined and limited by race, gender, class and religion. From the wealthy Mrs Van Buren who must play her part in society while privately enduring a loveless marriage, to the cloth merchant, Mr Marks, whose religion does not allow him to be touched by a woman who is not in his family and which would never sanction a relationship with a black woman, everyone in Esther's world is trapped. However, it is through love and marriage that Esther hopes she will find freedom and escape from the restrictions of her situation. Although Esther's friends, the landlady Mrs Dickson and the prostitute, Mayme, counsel a life based on compromise, Esther hopes that her romantic...
Full Details »

Stereophonic ★★★★ Duke of York's Theatre | May 24 - Oct 11, 2025

Image
The show that was nominated for more Tony awards than any other has now arrived in London! Nominated for thirteen awards and winning five, this musical set in 1976-1977, is a deep look at a rock band's creation of their latest album. It is a fascinating insight into the music industry and into the collaborative creative process. Five members of a band, plus two engineers, struggle to produce a new album, and as they do so, the individual personalities and relationships that exist disintegrate and are reconstructed. In fact, the process of artistic invention, and re-invention, that results in the album mirrors what the band members themselves go through. This unnamed British-American rock band is composed of the driven, perfectionist Peter, his insecure vocalist, songwriter partner, Diana, the drug-addled bass player, Reg, his long-suffering spouse the keyboardist, Holly, and the apparent adult in the room, the band's drummer, Simon. This quintet is supported by two goofy, but o...
Full Details »

Edward Burra - Ithell Colquhoun ★★★★ Tate Britain | Jun 13 - Oct 19, 2025

Image
Both these exhibitions provide fascinating retrospectives on the work of two roughly contemporary artists who have often been under-appreciated. Edward Burra was born in 1905 and died in 1976, while Ithell Colquhoun was born in 1906 and died in 1988. Both were influenced by the surrealist movement, but while Colquhoun's work is replete with symbolism reflecting her occult and spiritual interests, Burra's oeuvre is more grounded in time and place. From his early works which were depictions of the life of the demimonde in the cafés and cabarets of France, through his celebration of America's Harlem Renaissance, to the artist's final works which suggest his despair regarding the industrial despoilment of the English countryside, there is a detached, sardonic side to Burra's work that stands in contrast to Colquhoun's spiritual earnestness. Although the Spanish Civil War and World War II profoundly affected Burra and his output, bringing a dark, almost cynical, tone...
Full Details »

Head First Acrobats – GODZ ★★★ Sadler's Wells Peacock Theatre | June 11 - 14, 2025

Image
Could this be a new genre? Comedic, acrobatic burlesque? GODZ , which is presented by Apollo, Dionysos, Cupid and Hercules, delivers some inane comedy, some impressive acrobatics and some inoffensive nudity. It is all good fun, even if it doesn't make much sense. Why the four Greek gods? Who knows? With a meagre narrative and minimal characterisation, that is never quite clear, and it probably doesn't matter. On the plot side of things however, we thought the distinction between the Greek Hades and the Christian Hell which is amusingly introduced could have been exploited for a lot more humour. The heart of the show is really the acrobatics, and what the four performers do with chairs, aerial straps and a ladder is quite breathtaking. They had the audience on the edge of their seats with their wonderful shenanigans. However, the point of the sequence with the whip and candles was simply unclear, and the yo-yoing bit which demonstrates some awesome prowess left us briefly wonder...
Full Details »

Showmanism ★★★ Hampstead Theatre | Jun 18 - Jul 12, 2025

Image
It's summertime and the season of fringe theatre is upon us. One-person shows, performers with niche talents and curious experimentation are among the hallmarks of this annual experience, and Showmanism certainly meets the above criteria. Created by and starring Dickie Beau whose gift is a formidable ability to lip-sync and some skill at mime, this production is a collage of various interesting commentaries about the theatre and theatrical production. The various snippets are neatly patched together, but their relevance to each other is left for the audience to determine. They run from the challenging and academic to the silly and anecdotal, and they certainly provide a quirky pastiche of commentary about the art of performance. From the acoustics of the Ancient Greek amphitheatres, to feminist questions about drag, to a reminiscence about a visit to Oberammergau, there are lots of interesting insights here, and an enormous amount of material is covered. To the proceedings, Dickie...
Full Details »

The Ministry of Lesbian Affairs ★★★ Kiln Theatre | Jun 13 - Jul 12, 2025

Image
Iman Qureshi's delightful tale of a group of six women who come together to form a choir has much to recommend it. It is full of humour, and its political heart is in the right place. The characters are nicely drawn, and it is easy to identify both with them and with their plights: Lori's issue is that she is not out to her church-going family; Ana is determined to be politically correct at all costs, but she is also consumed by jealousy and fearful that Lori might leave her; Dina is from an Arab culture which wouldn't accept her orientation and she has an emotionally abusive husband; Fi is a wheelchair user who is going through a divorce and who has some questionable views about who should actually be part of the sisterhood; Bridget is a trans woman looking for love and acceptance; and, Ellie is a promiscuous non-binary individual who is exploring their identity. This group of songsters is presided over by Connie, the OWL (Old Wise Lesbian) who proves to be the work's ...
Full Details »

Summer Exhibition 2025 ★★★★ Royal Academy of Arts | Jun 17 - Aug 17, 2025

Image
The first summer exhibition at the Royal Academy was in 1769. For 257 years this annual show has been delighting, disconcerting and defying art lovers. The theme of this year's exhibition is "Dialogues," and it continues in the show's time-honoured tradition. There is something here for everyone, and probably the odd thing for no one. The Co-ordinator for this year's exhibition, Farshid Moussavi and her team have assembled an extraordinarily eclectic group of works and have done a superb job of reflecting the exhibition's theme. For the first time architectural works have been spread throughout the various galleries and that integration sets up a conversation with the other pieces that is quite fascinating. The dialogue is present in many forms, however: from the whimsical such as Adam Dant's Capital City - A Cat-ographic View of London (992) and Chris Orr's The Old Mill by the Stream (1008) to the confounding like John Humphreys' Lulu in the Sky...
Full Details »

4.48 Psychosis ★★★★ Royal Court Theatre | Jun 12 - Jul 5, 2025

Image
Perhaps more performance art than play, 4.48 Psychosis only attempts to do one thing. It seeks to create for the audience the experience of psychosis, and it manages to do so with a terrifying veracity. The audience is immersed in the anger, despair and desperation of individuals who are on the verge of taking their own lives as they can find no relief from their pain in either doctors or drugs. It is a gruelling 70 minutes of theatre, and when one of the characters says she feels as if she is being manipulated, the audience can probably wholeheartedly identify with that feeling. And, that may be an issue for this experience; for with the sense of emotional manipulation, comes withdrawal and distancing. Based on some of the darkly humorous comments we overheard as we left the theatre, this reaction may have been the case for several audience members. The sheer intensity of work had probably forced them out of the moment, and may ultimately have defeated the writer's purpose of eng...
Full Details »

The City Life Magazine | Reviews & Ratings